silent wanderings.

My life is so messed up and as I try to pick up the pieces, I have to shatter lives as well. In order to not hurt people, I end up hurting people. It's amazing how love blinded my eyes and I look back and realize that everything was fake but my heart was just moved by few words that made me feel instantaneously special. I fear that I have taken this secret too far and that because of my wrong doings, anger now invades your heart. This anger could lead to disaster and destruction of everything that I am. I pray to God that this does not happen but with every second my heart beats faster.

I'm addicted to this past lifestyle.
It disgusts me. makes me scream. makes me cry.
This time I really did wrong.

I got involved with your feelings. It was fun, it wasn't supposed to last, but now I can't stop.
You're nice, but your part of something I no longer associate with.

You don't understand that who you met is not "me."
More like an evil twin that needs to  die.

I'm in too deep.

School has not been my cup of tea lately.

Half the people I talked to before, I no longer associate myself with now.

So much drama, randomness, and meaningless talks. When did people become so boring and self-centered? When did people become so bitchy and so mean?

It's useless trying to go back to how it was because it's not the same, but at the same time I feel bad because I dislike so many people. I feel as if I try but it's kind of hard every time so and so is talking about their boyfriend drama 24/7, how smart they are, how they are going to get good grades, how so and so is a bitch, how they got a new car, how their parents are buying them so much stuff blah blah blah blah.

Tuesday night at the Bible study
We lift our hands and pray over your body
But nothing ever happens

All the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications when I see His face
In the morning in the window

All the glory when He took our place
But He took my shoulders and He shook my face
And He takes and He takes and He takes

Dear World,

I feel as if many people are annoying me. I feel bad when I get upset at people, but it seems as if I'm noticing more things recently.

People running around bragging about how they got the highest grade in some AP class.
People running around being ignorant and childish.
People laughing at others when they get answers wrong.
People being way to touchy-feeling and overbearing.

I sound kind of like a prude.

Sincerely,

Me.

P.S I need to be more positive

Dear world,

I have developed an usual obsession with tattoos. Really nice and artistic tattoos are just awesome. They just fill me with joy.

I told my mom that I wanted a tattoo.

She looked at me and shook her head and promptly said NO!

I'm almost an adult and will be able to get one anyway. (Oh adulthood). Don't worry I do not plan on getting my boyfriend's name tattooed on my chest.

Why you may ask?

Well...

1. I don't have a boyfriend
2. I think getting a boyfriend's name on your body is stupid...
3. Refer back to #1


Sincerely,

Me.

P.S Did you know Justin Bieber just got a crown tattoo on his chest? Weird.

Dear world,

I spend so much of my time at my little desk studying. For what? Tests. Only to forget the information a while later.

There is rarely ever a connection made.

 I cherish the classes where I get hands on experience. And at times I feel bad because it's so hard to focus.

Sincerely,
Me.

P.S I have to go over this 7 page study guide for a test today now :(